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The Slugs Are On The Warpath
Prologue:
After the SCSU Pagan Alliance general meeting of Wednesday, October 4th,
2000 CE, there was a long silence on the mailing list. Curious as to why, I
posted the following message:
From: GT <gt@scsupagans.org>
Date: Sun, 08 Oct 2000 21:51:33 -0500 (CDT)
Subject: [scsu-pagans] And by the way...
Where the heck is everyone? We went from an average of 10 posts
a day up until Wednesday to less than a post a day since. Did a
giant slug come by and consume the residence halls since I was
last on campus on Thursday or something? Just sort of curious...
The next morning, Snow posted the following reply:
From: "Snow Tigra" <JESSREALITY@INAME.COM>
Date: Mon, 09 Oct 2000 04:31:10 -0000
Subject: [scsu-pagans] re: origins of halloween
LOL! First he blames Kismit, and then a giant worm? Heheh the second
we stop talking we've been eaten! Hmmm, wonder what creature he'll
pic next? Maybe the mirror in my room ate me... ack that is too
creepy. *glances warily at the mirror on the wall behind her*
Obviously, I could not allow this slander to slide by unchallenged:
From: GT <gt@scsupagans.org>
Date: Mon, 09 Oct 2000 09:26:40 -0500 (CDT)
Subject: Re: [scsu-pagans] re: origins of halloween
Quoting Snow Tigra <JESSREALITY@INAME.COM>:
> LOL! First he blames Kismit, and then a giant worm?
Hey, I said a giant slug, not a giant worm! On behalf of all the
slugs of the Earth who cannot speak for themselves, I must demand
an apology for your slander! Otherwise, YOU WILL BE SLIMED!
Days passed with no apology being posted. Finally, the next general
meeting occurred. Snow did not show up with an apology. Instead, she
showed up with salt!
The next morning, as I woke up, I heard the distant sound of
war drums...
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The Slugs Are On The Warpath
(Or, The Doom That Came To Snow Tigra)
(c) Copyright 2000 GT <gt@dreamsmith.org>
[Text in brackets is the sound of war drums.]
Text in the clear is the voice of the leader.
(Text in parentheses is the voices of the backup.)
TEXT IN ALL CAPS IS THE LEADER AND BACKUP TOGETHER.
*****
[Da dum, da dum, da dum. Boom.]
[Da dum, da dum, da dum. Boom.]
[Da dum, da dum, da dum. Boom.]
[Da dum, da dum, da dum. Boom.]
They're sliding through the night.
[Da dum, da dum, da dum. Boom.]
They've come to prove their might.
[Da dum, da dum, da dum. Boom.]
They leave a trail of slime.
(It helps with their motility.)
They turn upon a dime.
(They have boneless agility.)
That's right. It's true.
THE SLUGS ARE ON THE WAR-PATH.
They come... For you!
THE SLUGS ARE ON THE WAR-PATH.
[Da dum, da dum, da dum. Boom.]
[Da dum, da dum, da dum. Boom.]
[Da dum, da dum, da dum. Boom.]
[Da dum, da dum, da dum. Boom.]
They're feeling pretty sore.
(The slugs are on the war-path.)
They must settle the score.
(The slugs are on the war-path.)
They've come to punish Snow.
(Or get a nice apology.)
Their anger they will show.
(They have a mean psychology.)
That's right. It's so.
THE SLUGS ARE ON THE WAR-PATH.
They come... For Snow!
THE SLUGS ARE ON THE WAR-PATH.
[Da dum, da dum, da dum. Boom.]
[Da dum, da dum, da dum. Boom.]
[Da dum, da dum, da dum. Boom.]
[Da dum, da dum, da dum. Boom.]
They itching for a fight.
(The slugs are on the war-path.)
They want to set things right.
(The slugs are on the war-path.)
Their "march" one thing confirms.
(They glide with great economy.)
You should not call them "worms".
(They're sticklers for taxonomy.)
That's right. It's true.
THE SLUGS ARE ON THE WAR-PATH.
They come... For you!
THE SLUGS ARE ON THE WAR-PATH.
[Da dum, da dum, da dum. Boom.]
[Da dum, da dum, da dum. Boom.]
[Da dum, da dum, da dum. Boom.]
[Da dum, da dum, da dum. Boom.]
One thing will make them halt.
(The slugs are on the war-path.)
They do not care for salt.
(The slugs are on the war-path.)
But sometime Snow must sleep.
(To her will lead the trail.)
She'll wake in slime hip-deep.
(And all will hear her wail.)
That's right. It's so.
THE SLUGS ARE ON THE WAR-PATH.
They come... For Snow!
THE SLUGS ARE ON THE WAR-PATH.
That's right. It's true.
THE SLUGS ARE ON THE WAR-PATH.
They come... For you!
THE SLUGS ARE ON THE WAR-PATH.
You'll run. You'll shout.
THE SLUGS ARE ON THE WAR-PATH.
You must... Get out!
THE SLUGS ARE ON THE WAR-PATH.
Too late! They're here!
THE SLUGS ARE ON THE WAR-PATH.
She's slimed. Poor dear...
THE SLUGS ARE ON THE WAR-PATH.
[Da dum, da dum, da dum. Boom.]
[Da dum, da dum, da dum. Boom.]
[Da dum, da dum, da dum. Boom.]
[Da dum, da dum, da dum. Boom.]
{Splurch.}
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Epilogue:
Snow subsequently apologized to the slugs. She claimed she was doing it
to prevent any of them from being hurt by the salt she spread about her
room, but the slugs and I know better.
Meanwhile, Bekkie has been feeling like a general and engaging in
strategic planning regarding her incense permit. The army of slugs is
no longer after Snow, but they're still itching for a fight. We're
currently in negotiations...
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